Alice was referred to me for play therapy when she was five years old . She was referred by a team of health service professionals who were offering counselling support to Alice’s father and his new girlfriend. Alice was grieving for her mother who had passed away with cancer two years earlier. The little girl had watched helplessly as her mother slowly deteriorated before her eyes. Her father’s inability to come to terms with the loss of his wife had led to his new girl friend ( who had recently moved in), leaving the family home on repeated occasions. These dramas had an impact on Alice.
This pale, solemn little girl with long brown hair and large grey eyes spoke very little in class . Alice was reluctant to join her classmates in their activities at the group activity table. She refused to read or write with the others. I suggested to her teacher, that rather than insisting on group cooperation, an empty chair could be placed for her at the group table. Alice’s should be free to sit on the chair and take her place with the other children if or when she felt ready to do so. Meanwhile, she should be allowed to sit separately and encouraged to draw and paint, activities which she enjoyed. This would enable her to freely express the painful emotions she seemed to be holding inside.
I hoped that a period of weekly sessions of creative play would provide Alice with another channel of expression. I was offered one of the smaller classrooms to work in and arranged to see her for a total of six play sessions on a once a week basis.
Play Props
A pair of stretchy ‘magic slippers’ covered in sparkles.
A piece of music previously used in a research project, where music was introduced as a healing agent to enhance language development.
Swathes of silky, diaphanous material in rainbow colours.
Darker material to create costumes for characters in the stories that would be key to Alice’s healing process.
A small golden box of mixed polished crystals to enhance our play.
Play Sessions
At the beginning of each session, with the music softly playing in the background , Alice placed the sparkly slippers on her feet before entering the world of her imagination.
Sleeping Beauty
Sleeping Beauty was her favourite fairy story and in her play, she cast herself as the sleeping princess. I was given the role of the prince. I rode my pretend horse around the table until I eventually found my princess alone and asleep in her castle surrounded by brambles . Pretending to cut my way through the thicket, the little princess was eventually found and awoken from her slumbers by a kiss on the cheek.
One day, early on in our sessions, Alice informed me in a calm, grave voice ‘I have been asleep for two years.’ This was the length of time that had passed since her mother had died of cancer. This brief statement demonstrated the healing power of fairy tales because I believe that these stories and myths are held deep within our unconscious. Fairytales are key to helping children make sense of their experiences in life, enabling them to find ways of dealing positively with their pain. In Alice’s version of the story the prince and princess hugged and rode away on the pretend horse to live happily ever after.
Story 2
In another story Alice created, she was a princess who found an old witch in a forest. The witch was very sick and Alice said that she couldn’t save the witch from dying, even though she had given her food and warm blankets. This was an indication that in her own short life, Alice had been unable to make her own mother well and had helplessly watched her mother become increasingly sick, until she was eventually taken away from her forever. To complete the healing, Alice needed to separate her mother from the cancer that had caused her death.
Together, we completed her story. The sick, old witch who was ill, lived alone in a cold rickety house in the forest. The witch was really a princess who had had a spell put on her. One day a beautiful child was riding her horse through the woods and came upon the witch who had been out gathering sticks for her fire but had collapsed in the cold. The child gave the witch food and magic crystals to place under her bed to make her well. The beautiful child visited the witch each day and noticed the witch changing before her eyes. As the witch slowly recovered, she grew more and more beautiful. The witch told the child that a spell had been put on her but that the spell had broken when a beautiful child who was unafraid had been kind to her.
We acted out the story, I was cast in the role of the witch and Alice, the beautiful child, rode by on her horse. Although the witch was hunched over and dressed in dark material, the child was unafraid and gave her food and precious crystals to make her well. Eventually, through kindness and regular visits, the witch became well again. Her dark clothes fell away to reveal beautiful rainbow colours as the witch was transformed back into a beautiful princess thanks to the love and kindness of the child.
School Review
Fortnightly review meetings took place with Alice’s teacher who reported that Alice was beginning to integrate into her class group once more and was choosing to sit at the table with the others . Alice had asked to be allowed to read and write. To her delight her teacher discovered that although Alice had not read aloud in class before, she could understand the words in her reading book and was only a little behind the others.
Conclusion
Three months later, we had a follow up appointment and Alice was accompanied by her father’s girlfriend. Initially, Alice played with the toy oven and made a pretend meal for us all. When we had eaten our meal, Alice asked to play her favourite song that I had asked her to bring with her . Her track was Steps, ‘Tragedy’ , a poignant choice. As the music swelled, Alice’s new confident self emerged and she transformed herself into a Spanish flamenco dancer by tying flame coloured material around her waist and assuming the appropriate, empowered posture. Alice beckoned me to follow as she strutted across the floor expressing her own remembered tragedy through the movement, words and music.
Thank fully, Alice’s father’s relationship had stabilised and there was a growing bond with the young woman who brought her to the clinic . No further help was requested but the door was left open for further contact if required. I did not hear from the family again.
For those of you who are interested in this work , teaching manuals are offered as free downloads at the Living Memory Research Trust.
(Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.)
Alice was referred to me for play therapy when she was five years old . She was referred by a team of health service professionals who were offering counselling support to Alice’s father and his new girlfriend. Alice was grieving for her mother who had passed away with cancer two years earlier. The little girl had watched helplessly as her mother slowly deteriorated before her eyes. Her father’s inability to come to terms with the loss of his wife had led to his new girl friend ( who had recently moved in), leaving the family home on repeated occasions. These dramas had an impact on Alice.
In another story Alice created, she was a princess who found an old witch in a forest. The witch was very sick and Alice said that she couldn’t save the witch from dying, even though she had given her food and warm blankets. This was an indication that in her own short life, Alice had been unable to make her own mother well and had helplessly watched her mother become increasingly sick, until she was eventually taken away from her forever. To complete the healing, Alice needed to separate her mother from the cancer that had caused her death.
witch was hunched over and dressed in dark material, the child was unafraid and gave her food and precious crystals to make her well. Eventually, through kindness and regular visits, the witch became well again. Her dark clothes fell away to reveal beautiful rainbow colours as the witch was transformed back into a beautiful princess thanks to the love and kindness of the child.
a poignant choice. As the music swelled, Alice’s new confident self emerged and she transformed herself into a Spanish flamenco dancer by tying flame coloured material around her waist and assuming the appropriate, empowered posture. Alice beckoned me to follow as she strutted across the floor expressing her own remembered tragedy through the movement, words and music.