Lenny at ten years old, was the oldest of four children. The family’s Health Visitor had noted his delayed development and limited communication when he was two years old. He was subsequently seen by a variety of professionals and submitted to repeated episodes of intervention in an endeavour to effect some improvement, with limited success. Hopeful beginnings rapidly deteriorated into disillusionment and non cooperation.
Lenny’s negative behaviour escalated until school became a place of containment rather than learning. This negative spiralling eventually resulted in his exclusion from school and a home tutor was appointed for ten hours a week. At the time of Lenny’s referral, his home tutor had established a good and trusting relationship with Lenny’s parents but her pre-planned structured teaching approach with Lenny was failing miserably. His speech was virtually unintelligible; he continued to explore objects by putting them in his mouth and chewed pencils and other inedible items. His tutor was endeavouring to relate to him through play but asked for help and advice to do this. She readily agreed to my offer of training and supervision, which included a joint hour with Lenny every three weeks. Not much I know but it was the only mutually agreeable time we could arrange in our busy schedules.
It was important that Lenny’s home tutor was able to provide a calm and steady presence because Lenny’s behaviour deteriorated when in the company of someone who was anxious or distressed. This applies to all vulnerable children who mirror the anxiety of those around them. I explained that energy alignment, specifically the Emerald Alignment technique would increase her awareness of her own thoughts and feelings she would gain understanding of the triggers for her emotional responses which would prevent Lenny from being able to ‘push her buttons’. Daily practice would enable her to relax and would protect her energy from outside influence. This proved successful and she was eventually able to provide Lenny with the behaviour model he required.
By building a relationship of mutual enjoyment through playfulness, warm physical contact and by positively responding to Lenny’s attempts at communication, his communication began to improve. Lenny’s mother, who was party to our earlier discussions, acknowledged that because of his fears of school and inability to learn in that environment, another method of teaching was desperately needed.
Through observation and involvement in Lenny’s sessions with us, his mother began to understand that Lenny’s learning was increasing through his play sessions. She realised that her son needed to feel safe and in control of his own learning while in the presence of someone who enjoyed being with him. His angry outbursts were successfully managed by providing firm, consistent and clear boundaries and a calm voice.
As her perception of him changed, his mother was able to provide a positive mirror in which to see himself and Lenny stopped barricading himself in at home with cushions and chairs in defensive comfort. We endeavoured to find the most appropriate vehicle for Lenny’s learning and we introduced different play materials to discover Lenny’s preference. We discovered that he had a real talent for building with lego. Here was the key. We made ‘phonecalls and wrote letters in an effort to persuade the Local Education Authority to purchase an extra large pack of lego bricks and figures for Lenny to use in his sessions. They agreed and the impact of this decision was amazing. He was immediately engrossed in designing and building his own unique creations. After two weeks, there was improvement in other areas. It was a delight to receive reports that Lenny was controlling his own behaviour without his tutor’s intervention. His brothers and sisters also told me that he was respecting their possessions instead of ‘trashing’ them. On my arrival one day, his tutor excitedly greeted me with ‘He’s beginning to really connect with me’.
Lenny now told her when he wanted to stop an activity, whereas before he had abandoned what he was doing and had walked away. His understanding of language had increased because now that he was relaxed and enjoying himself, his ability to listen had improved. With a limited vocabulary, he could now express himself with words and could therefore control the length of a game by asking for more time. This freed him from approaching every enjoyable activity with the same panic, lest it suddenly be taken away from him. He was communicating in a safe environment with a known person who offered him acceptance warmth and understanding.
However, when he was suddenly stopped from doing something that was important to him, he became aanxious and stressed because he was unprepared for it to end. A favourite piece of music is an excellent way of signalling the approaching end of an activity. Once Lenny had an understanding of structure and time and the music clue warned him that the activity was drawing to a close, he was able to wait without demanding and the transition from one activity to another was easier. He expressed his feelings in words rather than acting them out through tantrums i.e. by saying ‘I’m cross with you’.
Lenny had previously had difficulty sharing space with another child but as children were gradually introduced into his environment to play with him, he was more able to communicate confidently and effectively. After a period of twelve months Lenny’s parents moved from the area but wrote to let me know that he was successfully attending the local school where he was welcomed and accepted. The music of Bach proved to be most beneficial and calmed him if he was agitated . When Bach played quietly in the background Lenny’s speech mirrored the structure and flow of the music and became clearer and less disorganised.
A directive approach of symptom focused therapy often proves ineffective and I strongly believe that children are capable of healing themselves if allowed the freedom to direct their own play. Our task is to follow the child’s lead and discover an activity that they can sustain and enjoy. A child may have problems with focus and social interaction in the classroom setting but be a whizz on the football field. Nourish this ability and provide opportunities and the child will learn the skills they require. It is important that the attending adult is able to put aside their own need to control the activity and is able to respond positively to all attempts to communicate.
My manuals are offered as free downloads, in the hope that they will inspire and encourage you explore your own creative potential.
Lenny at ten years old, was the oldest of four children. The family’s Health Visitor had noted his delayed development and limited communication when he was two years old. He was subsequently seen by a variety of professionals and submitted to repeated episodes of intervention in an endeavour to effect some improvement, with limited success. Hopeful beginnings rapidly deteriorated into disillusionment and non cooperation.
stopped barricading himself in at home with cushions and chairs in defensive comfort. We endeavoured to find the most appropriate vehicle for Lenny’s learning and we introduced different play materials to discover Lenny’s preference. We discovered that he had a real talent for building with lego. Here was the key. We made ‘phonecalls and wrote letters in an effort to persuade the Local Education Authority to purchase an extra large pack of lego bricks and figures for Lenny to use in his sessions. They agreed and the impact of this decision was amazing. He was immediately engrossed in designing and building his own unique creations. After two weeks, there was improvement in other areas. It was a delight to receive reports that Lenny was controlling his own behaviour without his tutor’s intervention. His brothers and sisters also told me that he was respecting their possessions instead of ‘trashing’ them. On my arrival one day, his tutor excitedly greeted me with ‘He’s beginning to really connect with me’.